The Secret
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: I wish that I wasn't falling in love with my best friend as I do love Komaki, I love her more than anything though now my heart is divided, and I'm left confused.


I don't know when it happened; it felt almost like I'd just woke up and realized that I'd fallen for him.

I used to only see Komaki that way, and now, I'm not sure anymore who I love.

I just know that I hope Yuki treats Machi well; I hope that he takes good care of my sister.

I hope that I'll grow old enough to forget how alive he makes me feel, how much fun it is to tease him and listen to him tease me, and I'll find a way to love Komaki the way that I've always loved her.

I love how easy it is to be near Komaki, how at peace it all is with her, and I love carving out our futures together.

I just can't believe how much I see in Yuki; I see someone in him that I can goof off with, be myself with, and someone that will always make me feel alive.

I see someone that is definitely not a woman though his face often appears girlish, and he does look good in dresses.

I hate how my heart races when he looks at me now as I've seen the way he looks at my sister, and I know that Komaki makes me happy; I shouldn't feel like this for my best friend.

I see someone that could be so much more within his eyes, someone that could so very easily become my everything if we just let it consume us.

I know that my feelings must be onesided as he obviously loves my sister in place of me, sees in her everything that I can't be.

He has a future with her, an everything, and they can raise a family one day together though I'm not sure if they've thought about that.

I've always wanted to be a father, and I do love Komaki or at least I thought I did; I want to take over Komaki's family business and have kids with her, watch my children grow up, and feel proud over their accomplishments.

I don't want to give that all up; I don't want to change my life around to welcome the feelings that are growing in my veins.

I want my future with Komaki, but I also want a life with Yuki, to come home and see him after we've worked and may be have a simple dinner with him while the hours pass.

I want to lean over and know how his lips feel against mine; would he try to take control of the kiss or would he let me win? What will he taste like?

Komaki always tastes of meat; she says that I taste sweet like a candy. She loves kissing me.

It hurts to realize that I want to taste Yuki's lips, give that up for a little bit of bliss, and wonder what it would be like to curl up in bed beside him and stay warm against his body.

I want the peaceful moments and the teasing ones; I want to know everything that I can about Yuki.

It both hurts to lose to my sister, and for me to realize that I'm falling in love with my best friend, the guy that I feel the most at peace with, and the one that I trust the most, the man that I can be myself around.

I love him even though I shouldn't.

I love Komaki; I always have yet Yuki wakes up a part of me that I've never known existed.

I'm not supposed to fall head over heels with my best friend; I'm not supposed to daydream about his lips and how they'd feel when I'm supposed to be paying attention in class.

He's become my personal distraction, my temptation, and everything that I wish that he wouldn't become to me.

Yuki, I hope that you never find out about how I now feel about you, and I hope that I can keep this secret and manage to fall back in love with Komaki as deeply as I was before.

I need to be what I was before, to grow and just love Komaki as it hurts too much to love Yuki like this, makes my heart crash down against my ankles, and makes me wish for something to calm me down and make me feel alive in a different way again.

Komaki, I do love you, or at least will always love you in some way; I want to be your everything though my heart has become divided.

I hope that I can love you for everything about you again.

I want to daydream about every kiss that I've received from you and feel alive just by looking into your eyes again.


End file.
